The title says it all with this one ya’ll. How many of you desperately crave 5 or even 10 minutes of peace and quiet now and then? But the moment you do get it, you are immediately overwhelmed with guilt. For me this is an ongoing struggle. There are days when I so badly want to sneak away for some me time as soon as my husband walks through the door, but immediately feel guilty.
Some days it’s because I know my husband had a hard day at the office. Others it’s because I know the kids are terribly cranky. The truth is I can make a million excuses, even when I truly just need 10 minutes before my head explodes. Ever felt like that?
While talking with a great friend this week I realized just how big of an issue this truly is and not just for me. I am desperately trying to get in shape, lose baby weight, and maybe run a 5K or two this summer, so we have become accountability partners, trying to encourage one another to run at least a few times a week. Which I highly recommend for anyone that is trying to get into shape. Whether you are competitive (I’m not but she is :)) or not, an accountability partner can help motivate you and keep you working towards your goal, even with a simple text message!
While talking, we both expressed how bad we feel leaving our kids home with our husbands so that we can go run, but at the same time how much we both NEED and enjoy that little bit of Me Time. And isn’t that so true.
Whether you are at home with your children all day or you work full-time away from home, I’m sure that you also find yourself facing the Me Time versus Mommy Guilt conundrum.
Today I am here to tell you:
You are NOT alone! We all feel that way, sneaking away for a pedicure, going for a run, or even going to the grocery store solo, can leave a mom with some crazy guilt. Ladies, it shouldn’t. You are entitled and deserve a few minutes alone in peace doing whatever strikes your fancy.
Me Time is a MUST. In order to give your family everything you have, you have to have something to give. Sometimes that means a soak in the tub, a night out with girl friends, heading to the gym, or going to see a movie. Do something for yourself, you need it!
They will survive. The house, the kids, the pets, and your husband will survive. So relax and enjoy a few minutes just for YOU.
So the next time you are overwhelmed with mom guilt, take a deep breath and remember that your sanity is important and you need this time. Mom guilt is okay, it means you care about your kids just don’t let it discourage you from the quiet time you so dearly deserve.
While it is easy for me to type those words actually following through is much more difficult and a constant struggle. I would love to hear how you combat mommy guilt and what me time activities you enjoy!
Diane Quintana says
June 13, 2016 at 7:28 amThis is great advice, Dani. My children are grown now but I remember very well how it felt to be wanting a little time alone to do whatever. I was lucky that my mother lived down the road from me and she would take my boys on ‘adventures’ every now and then to give me a little time for myself. I was mindful not to take advantage of her and really appreciated all the help she gave. I think if I had it to do again I would try to get a group of friends and trade taking care of each other’s children. I think that would be a win win. The kids would have a play date and the friends would get some much needed me time.
Dani Wagner says
June 13, 2016 at 4:52 pmDiane, that is a fabulous idea. I love play dates because it gives me some adult conversation, but love the idea of watching each other’s kids!
Julie @ Logger's Wife says
June 13, 2016 at 4:09 pmI honestly have zero guilt about needing time to myself. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a bit of an introvert and truly need that time to survive but I fight strongly for my time. I very much agree that if you are going to have anything to give to your family, you need to actually have something to give. My me time is time to myself but many of my friends need time with each other. I’m very thankful for a husband that is willing to let me have the time I need when it can happen. With just one kid it was easy. Now that we have a new baby, it’s much harder. (visiting from Mom to Mom Mondays)
Dani Wagner says
June 13, 2016 at 4:55 pmGood for you mama, I’m so glad to hear that so many moms get the time they deserve! I totally agree that me time is necessary and it was a little easier when we only had one. Then, we had twins and alone time became a LOT more difficult!
Alison @ Tickling the Wheat says
June 16, 2016 at 2:05 pmLove this advice. I’m pretty good about asking my husband to watch the kids while I go grocery shopping or run errands, but I struggle with doing something fun for myself while the kids are napping. I keep thinking that I should be folding laundry or scrubbing the floor instead of reading or relaxing. What works for me is carving out time in my day (even just small increments) to do things that I love, like reading for 30 minutes before bed.
Dani Wagner says
June 16, 2016 at 9:01 pmAlison, I cab totally relate to feeling the need to do something productive! I always try to spread my chores out over the week so I can snag 39-45 min during nap time for myself.
Karen says
June 19, 2016 at 5:12 amThat sounds just like me, Alison. Though, I still managed to have three kids in the car when I went to buy potatoes yesterday, even though my husband was at home! I find it really difficult to get quality time by myself – and since I, too, am an introvert I really need it.